It's Been A While
by glass sugar2.0
Summary: An escape from the war may not bring peace.


It's Been A While

By So Divine

**Author's Notes**: This takes place on the Iron Maiden, the Pack's home ship. Also, I've changed Dawn's last name.

_'Oh, Carl. I should have known you'd be here.'_

The only Roughneck on the ship…he felt lonely. So he went to a place with a lot of people. She just wished he would pick another place other than the _Iron Maiden _bar.

_And it's been awhile  
Since I could hold my head up high  
And it's been awhile  
Since I first saw you  
And it's been awhile  
Since I could stand on my own two feet again  
And it's been awhile  
Since I could call you_

"Come here often?" she asked casually after sitting down in the booth across from him.

"Only for Happy Hour," he said without looking up from his drink. What was so interesting about the amber liquid that he wouldn't look at her?

"Carl-"

"I'm fine, Dawn."

She raised an eyebrow. How did he read her mind without her knowing? He must have been reading it then because he finally looked up.

"You surprised?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Not really. You hang with Intel, you pick up a few things. I'll consider it your way of keeping me on my toes." He nodded, looking down again.

"Listen, you…wanna go for a walk?" She asked carefully.

::Sure. Just let me get my power suit and I'll meet you on Pluto in five minutes.::

Ignoring his barb, she grabbed his arm and pulled them both out of the booth. A few seconds later they were walking toward the less used hallways.

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've stretched myself beyond my means_

What a pair they made. Her with her tan skin and raven tresses, him with his pale complexion and flaxen hair. The only tangible thing they had in common was eye color. Blue. There were a lot of blue eyed psychics. She often wonder if her eyes would still be blue if her father hadn't given all of his children his cold sapphire eyes.

::I think they would be,:: he answered.

_And it's been awhile  
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted  
And it's been awhile  
Since I can say I love myself as well  
And it's been awhile  
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do  
And it's been awhile  
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you_

She talked about trivial stuff as they walked, not knowing what would make him "snap", as Dizzy put it. She had talked to her after Carl had been hurt. The thought must have gotten past her shield because he looked at her sharply.

_'Damn. I should not have let that leak out. Or did he pull it out?'_

She returned his cold stare with one of her own and she just wanted to laugh, it was so stupid.

_'I mean, come on, a staring contest?' _

After several seconds she cracked and was leaning against a wall, shaking. He of course rushed to her side but stepped back when he realized she was laughing.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"You are. Here you are acting like an ass. A cute ass, but an ass none the less. And you, one of our most powerful psychics, have no idea how it's affecting everyone else."

"What do you know?" he asked bitterly, turning away from her. Shutting her out. With renewed determination, she quickly stepped away from the wall and slipped in front of him, preventing him from escaping. All the amusement had disappeared from her face.

"I know plenty. And no, I didn't get it all from Dizzy or Rico or Goss or…stop thinking!"

He did and she took a breath before continuing on.

"I know you were hurt. I know a lot of blame was thrown around. I know a lot of crap happened to you…a lot of painful and violating crap." He flinched as if in remembrance and looked down. Taking his face in her hands, I lifted his head back up so that he had no choose but to meet her gaze. She still had to look up, though. When did he get so tall?

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've gone and fucked things up again_

"I know you were happy to get back to your squad but at the same time, you felt it was all their fault because they let all that that happen to you. But they didn't know Carl. Few people did, after Intel took you away." He lifted his hands to her own and brought them away from his face.

"Did you?" he asked, still holding her hands.

"Yes. But only because of my brothers in the Fleet. They called in some favors." Seeing the question in his eyes, she smiled and nodded her head profusely.

"Of course I wanted to be with you, Carl. Damn it, I love you--"

Her confession was cut short when his mouth covered hers. A surprise it was but not an unwelcome one. When they came up for air, they found themselves in a compromising embrace and reluctantly parted.

Nervously rubbing the back of his neck, Carl mumbled an apology. "I'm not myself."

Dawn simply stared at him, a hand on her lips. Unable to speak she sent him her reply.

::You sure? 'Cause Carl Jenkins is one hell of a kisser.::

His eyes widened at her omission and he smiled shyly.

"Actually I'm not sure," he said, "Want to try that again?"

She smiled and stepped closer to him, meeting him halfway.

_Why must I feel this way?  
Just make this go away  
Just one more peaceful day!_

How long had he wanted this? A month? A year? Forever? It seemed that was how long he had been waiting for the young woman he held in his arms. However, all thoughts left him when she began to trace his lips with her tongue. Opening his mouth, his tongue clashed with hers as she moved in to taste him. He tasted like cream soda and liquor and when she mentally told him, he could not help but chuckle.

_And it's been awhile  
Since I could look at myself straight  
And it's been awhile  
Since I said I'm sorry  
And it's been awhile  
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face  
And it's been awhile  
But I can still remember just the way you taste_

Breaking their kiss, Dawn placed her head on his chest and with a content sigh told him they were outside his room. He stared blankly into space before he heard her repeat herself and asked her to come in. She accepted and soon was standing in the middle of his compact quarters. It was only temporary since it wasn't his ship but it provided him with all he needed for his trip to the _Valley Forge_.

Sitting at the little round table in the middle of his room, he asked about her missions, realizing she had grown as well into her powers. He also realized she was growing into her role as a Sicon officer. At that point he felt something he hadn't felt since that first day when his best friend took out an entire army of bugs. Pride. He was proud of her and it must have showed because she had stopped talking and was smiling. Smiling that smile that spoke of nothing but happiness and…love? Love for him?

::I do love you,:: she reiterated.

::I love you too.::

Her smile broadened and she began to lean over toward him. He too began to lean forward and was just inches away from tasting her soft pink lips before his door chimed. He looked to the door and looked back to her when she mentally cursed. Scanning the mind outside his room he too limited his vocabulary to four letter words.

He stood up and walked to the door and braced himself before opening it.

_And everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me  
I cannot blame this on my father  
He did the best he could for me_

"Captain Cherkasskii, sir," he said, coming to attention as he faced Dawn's oldest brother. Kale eyed them both before telling them he was off duty and was simply giving Carl his orders from the _Valley Forge_. Before leaving, he threw a thought in Carl's direction as Dawn had taught him. Carl did catch it and nodded before closing the door behind the recently promoted Captain.

"What'd he think?" Dawn asked. Carl placed his orders on the table and looked at her.

"That's for me to know and you to worry over."

She crossed her arms and stared up at him from where she sat but soon gave up trying to win another staring match with him. Instead she stood up and gave him a quick peck on the lips that he prolonged by wrapping his arms around her waist. Taking her bottom lip in his mouth he gently nibbled on it before releasing her. She smiled as she walked backward to the door.

"My squad's looking for me but I will see you again, ." She winked and was gone, leaving Carl to think about his uplifted attitude and newfound passion for the Russian-Hawaiian member of the Pack.

_And it's been awhile  
Since I could hold my head up high  
And it's been awhile  
Since I said I'm sorry_

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and reached for his orders. Sighing again, his spirit began to fall as he realized what he would have to do. He would be joining his friends again but he was going to have to go head to head with the Queen. He knew he would agonize over it all night. And it would be awhile before Dawn.

Fin

Disclaimer: "It's Been Awile" is by Staind. Don't own it. Roughnecks: Starship Trooper Chronicles does not belong to me. Dawn, her squad and ship are my creations.


End file.
